The Report

Betty's beloved dog had heart failure.  It was legitimately euthanized. I do believe Betty had no expectation of doing this - that is, meeting a veterinarian, forcing a relationship to gain access to drugs.  I think it just happened.  Betty had been sad for so very long.

The psychological report told the story.  While her father was loving to the children as toddlers, the mother was distant.  She didn't want children; she wanted a career.  They had two sons, one childwas planned and then another that was a surprise. One of those stormy night events.

Much of the report spoke to her relationship with her mother.  Essentially Betty was like the Rhesus monkey, who without nurturing had difficulty trusting, difficulty keeping any relationship.  Always in fear of being left alone, the nightmares tormented her. Like most people, Betty married what she knew.  Since her own parents had a distant relationship, she had never experienced real nurturing or seeing a loving relationship develop.

Though Betty did marry for love, she had neither the tools nor knew what a healthy relationship looked like.  She adored her husband during their courtship, though she didn't understand his distance.  Of course, at the time, she didn't see her own part in this diad - her own distance from herself and hence, from anyone with whom she would allow closeness.

Even their intimacy in marriage was difficult.  For the husband, it was mechanical.  For Betty she never felt the longing for physical closeness.  She couldn't stop the chatter inside long enough.  Or the yearning.  Some may have thought her frigid, though she did have friends.  She was not able to bond.  In time, her husband sought physical intimacy. 

Betty didn't know what to do about any of this.  Her husband would spend hours working around the house on his projects, hours at the office, hours at the gym.  She wondered why he bothered to get married.  Maybe it was the sex on demand that kept him in the relationship.  Though he must have known Betty wasn't interested in him.  She actually resented their relationship.  She felt like a whore when they were intimate.  She felt like she had to. 

Further into the psychological report, it revealed a healthy closeness between Betty and her two sons.  Maybe that is where she found her balance.  But when Betty discovered her husband, erstwhile as he was, seeing other women, she shut down.  Much like she had all those years as a child.  Abandoned and alone.  It was what she knew.  Some of her close family members saw it.  They were amazed how well she functioned inspite of the lack of parental bonding.



Page Two of the report

After her sons left home to follow their careers, Betty went into a deep depression.  As predictable as it is, she met a man who paid attention to her.  In time, he helped her heal emotionally.  She began to trust again.  Until she found a woman's wallet under the front seat of his sports car.  The sinking feelings of abandonment returned. 

But Betty wasn't one to give up.  She met another man who she absolutely adored.  He wasn't the type of man she ordinarily would have dated.  But pickings were slim.  She wanted desperately to connect with someone. 

It was a cool fall day when her husband started questioning her evening activity.  Betty was annoyed.  How dare he she thought.  He was never available to her - physically or emotionally unless there was a project he enjoyed.  Betty was desperate.  The veterinarian was well schooled, but she found him an emotional mess.  Still she stayed.  Had her self esteem been healthier, the relationship would never have happened.  And then her dog got sick.  The dog was Betty's best friend.  Without Buster, she was lost. 

Betty and the vet cried together as Buster was euthanized.  But it didn't end there.  Returning home that night her husband went berserk.

"Why didn't you tell me Buster was sick?"

"Maybe it is because you never pay any attention to Buster in the first place.  You never pay any attention to me.  Your life is about your own desperate needs.  Frankly, I am sick of it!"

Betty's husband was the quiet type.  No words were said after that point.  Betty was going to get out of the marriage.  One way or another.