Knowing: One

One

Have you ever seen God?  I mean really see him?  Or her. 

I feel God every day.  Not in the Judeo-Christian way but in a knowing.  In the azure sky, and sunlight dancing off the ocean.  The mother fox feeding her kits in the thicket. In my heart.

Studying at Cornell and later public health in a medical school taught me to quantify everything.  Replicate every experiment.  Stratified random sampling is the ticket. My professors promised that. But why?

            Not everything can be measured by the scientific method.  When my mother came to me in a dream telling that cold January morning that she was dying didn’t come with a measurement tool. My mother was healthy. Even when my brother called that morning to tell me she passed I knew there was more to knowing God than what we could reproduce under a controlled experiment.  She did have a broken heart has her husband had passed a number of years before her.  Missing him overwhelmed her.

I knew I was pregnant before the laboratory tests confirmed it.  Tuning in to the body mind is like that.  Working in concert, listening, feeling.  It was helpful to have a scientific evaluation.  But most assuredly in the months to come, my knowing would have been confirmed with a huge belly and lots of activity.